http://ferdolyn.tumblr.com/

"According to the American Society of Plastic Surgeons, approximately a thousand “vaginal..."

Fri, 17 Apr 2009 05:09:00 -0400

“According to the American Society of Plastic Surgeons, approximately a thousand “vaginal rejuvenations” were performed in 2006 — the most current year for which U.S. statistics have been compiled — up 30 percent from 2005. In the United Kingdom, the number of labiaplasties performed doubled between 2000 and 2005, reaching over eight hundred procedures per year.”

- In search of the ‘perfect’ vagina (via gauntlet)

OH MY ACTUAL GOD. This is so sad.

I met a gynecologist in the pub the other night (as you do) and she described to me how she had recently performed a labioplasty on a woman who was perfectly within the range of normal. ‘Why are we doing this?’ the surgeon in charge apparently remarked, but the teenage patient was paying for it so they all sort of shrugged and carried on. AWFUL.

What precipitated this: Ferdolyn: …have a lovely-ish...

Thu, 16 Apr 2009 05:03:13 -0400

What precipitated this:

Ferdolyn: …have a lovely-ish evening.

I will photograph the potatoes.

Friend in Geneva: Good!

I was going to ask, actually.

crowth: kapi: /facepalm I usually use occassions such as this...

Tue, 14 Apr 2009 09:22:43 -0400

crowth:

kapi:

/facepalm

I usually use occassions such as this to have some fun.

Actually, we call them azure leg huggers.

Oh, the japes! When I was last in America, as part of a group of British journalists, several people I had meetings with expressed particular amazement when I spoke.

‘Why,’ they said. ‘You don’t have an accent at all!’

‘I’m American,’ I replied.

‘Ohhhhh….’ they said, as if they’d only just realised that British people don’t speak American all funny on purpose.

"How real? Do you have to get dressed for it?"

Tue, 14 Apr 2009 06:55:45 -0400

“How real? Do you have to get dressed for it?”

- My friend C reacts to news of my new Real Job.

Oxford Circus crossing goes diagonal

Tue, 14 Apr 2009 06:49:53 -0400

Oxford Circus crossing goes diagonal:

michaelrundle:

(via 5500)

This is so exciting! And also a sign that I have been living in London for too long/am old, when changes to the pedestrian traffic system make me so excited. What am I going to get worked up about next, pothole repairs? New bicycle routes? Yes, definitely new bicycle routes.

The playlist last night was hilarious, but this was definitely...

Mon, 13 Apr 2009 06:43:00 -0400

The playlist last night was hilarious, but this was definitely the winner.

Easter was spent divided towards two parties: first, dinner with an old friend which was lovely, but...

Mon, 13 Apr 2009 06:13:00 -0400

Easter was spent divided towards two parties: first, dinner with an old friend which was lovely, but which involved me digging in to a conversation with another guest who was a ‘private security consultant’ in Africa (freelance mercenary) which threatened to derail the pleasant evening entirely.

The other guests wandered from the room as another guest who is a relief worker and I attempted to have a conversation about it without shouting at him. Though he was my first private security consultant, I find more often than not when I’m in a situation where I encounter someone whose political views are diametrically opposed to my own that I too often hold back from expressing myself properly while they cheerfully chat about their right-wing views, perhaps with the confidence that no one will be rude enough to counter them, and the confidence that their conservative logic will always trump illiberal ones. I managed, in this case, to offer a counterpoint, to have a debate, but I still felt disappointed in myself for not trying hard enough.

So then I went to the Dalston Jazz Bar with some other friends and we danced crazily to an amazing blend of Sinatras (Nancy and Frank) and swing standards and reggae and tracks by the DJ’s dad. And then I still felt like a bit of a political failure, but an sort of happy one.

Yesterday someone wrote something really mean about me on the Internet - so super mean, that it made...

Tue, 31 Mar 2009 11:54:00 -0400

Yesterday someone wrote something really mean about me on the Internet - so super mean, that it made me feel as I used to when I was in 7th grade and got taunted on the school bus. I nearly cried, but then I went downstairs to see always-dependable neighbour J.

He pointed out that the threat against me - involving fashioning some kind of weapon out of a coathanger and a tampon - only came up on, like, the fifth page of a google search for my name, whereas the fourth entry when you google him is a terrifying racist essay about a case that he worked on (he’s a lawyer) and includes a photo of him. And yet he is totally cheerful about it! So now I am cheerful about the tampon-hanger threat, and I am cheerful because it is good to have a friend who is a real mensch.

Would you take your husband's last name?

Tue, 31 Mar 2009 10:53:00 -0400

noraleah:

(Here’s my take.)

I think not, because I am really fond of my last name, which is sparkly and unusual, and also because after thirty years of life (I’m estimating, at the rate I’m going) I think it would be very odd to change. However, on the rare occasions where I allow myself to feel hopelessly romantic I imagine that it would be nice to have the same name as my husband - and definitely as my kids - which is why I will probably end up making him take mine. Unless his is cooler. Maybe we can have a name-off.

I go downstairs to borrow J's iron

Thu, 26 Mar 2009 21:16:45 -0400

Me: J, can I borrow your iron? I have a job interview tomorrow.
J: Sure, work away.
Me: Gosh, I wonder who designs ironing board covers? This is hideous.
J: Probably failed writers.

Sebastina’s chain fell off today, and for a moment I felt totally Sturm and Drang, but then J...

Tue, 24 Mar 2009 15:18:23 -0400

Sebastina’s chain fell off today, and for a moment I felt totally Sturm and Drang, but then J came downstairs and fixed it and the S&D were replaced by feelings of inadequacy that I cannot fix my own bicycle and thus must rely on the expertise of various men of my acquaintance to sort things out. Next stop: some kind of bicycle maintenance course? I don’t know if I could bear something quite that hardcore…

"Seth has no talents. That means law school."

Mon, 23 Mar 2009 07:58:48 -0400

“Seth has no talents. That means law school.”

- a line from the favourite book of my youth, Mona in the Promised Land by Gish Jen, that my dad was once fond of quoting to me…until it became apparent that I did want to pursue a creative career. Yes, I probably should have gone to law school.

I am actually pretty amazed...

Mon, 23 Mar 2009 07:57:00 -0400

…just how much of the joy has been squeezed out of blogging as a result of me now feeling compelled to do it in this bland, impersonal way. Is this a lesson in narcissism?

Anyway! Let’s carry on. Yesterday I went to see Alain de Botton give a ‘secular sermon’ as part of The School of Life. Naturally, I was extremely cynical about it - because that’s what I do - but in fact it made me very delighted on many levels. The happiest thing about it (and there were many happy moments) was when everyone in the ‘congregation’ sang Suzanne by Leonard Cohen.

It made me feel hopeful and confident about the prospect of my dream wedding (because, you know, every girl’s gotta have a nuptial dream, right?) at which all in attendance are forced to sing ‘Your Song’ by Elton John and other mildly ridiculous pop songs, because the group singing is always, I firmly believe, the best thing about any wedding, and must be included in the utterly unsacred ceremony that I would have.

I am, of course, slightly less confident about finding a man who will tolerate getting married under these circumstances, but actually I think it will be an effective acid test of whether he’ll be able to stand me for fifty years.

Favourite Irish things!

Tue, 17 Mar 2009 14:57:07 -0400

Inspired by noraleah, and in honour of today, a list of some my favourite things from a country that felt like home (and which I lived in, for a few months) for three years…

- Dalkey Island

- Dairy products

- Bacon fries

- Swimming in freezing seas

- Craic, both in concept and in execution

- The 2003 Special Olympics

- The imperative not to to disembark from a bus without thanking the driver

I should have stayed home and eaten a peanut butter sandwich

Tue, 17 Mar 2009 13:01:43 -0400

“France is dying from too much democracy…” my lunchtime companion explained. “…the trouble is that the police cannot hit the bad guys with club any more.”

Um, that wasn’t worth the free food.

Today I took Sebastina for our longest ride ever (thus far), to Islington to my friend B’s...

Sun, 15 Mar 2009 17:16:10 -0400

Today I took Sebastina for our longest ride ever (thus far), to Islington to my friend B’s house for Sunday lunch. It was a beautiful sunny day, the first one this year that made London feel like a place worth living, and as I waited to cross Bethnal Green Road I saw my neighbour, J, on his way back from a brunching activity.

‘J—-!’ I shouted at him. ‘Hey!’ he shouted back and pulled into a side street and I pulled over too. We stood there, on our lovely bikes and had a little chat and then he said, ‘Have a good day!’ and I said, ‘have a good day!’ and then we high-fived and pedaled off in opposite directions.

And as I rode away, squinting in the sunshine, whistling ‘Walcott’, I daresay that I felt more happy and twee than I have in years.

Tonight, I...

Sat, 14 Mar 2009 20:09:54 -0400

…ate in a gastropub I’ve never been to, in a part of London I haven’t been to in ten months, and still managed to find that a man I dated v briefly two years ago was seated at the table next to ours. We did not acknowledge each other.

…laughed with my friends more than I have in ages, over the awkward proximity of the man-I-dated, and the difficulty that French Canadians have understanding Anglo Canadians, and the joys of lawyering, and the small dog that was sitting at the next table (under the table, that is).

…had a little fight with a cab driver who thought that I should just walk the 100 metres from the tube station rather than pay him to drive me. ‘Would you walk down this dark street alone if you were a young lady like me?’ I said. He shut up.

…overpaid the driver anyway, out of guilt.

…read half of O Pioneers! by Willa Cather. I have decided to set myself on a remedial reading programme - that is, read a bunch of old books that I’ve managed to avoid over the last few years of only reading the new and hot (or lukewarm). ‘A bunch of old books’ doesn’t sound terribly intellectual, but let me tell you, it is.

(via noraleah): Natural Harvest: A Collection of Semen-Based...

Fri, 13 Mar 2009 11:22:00 -0400

(via noraleah):

Natural Harvest: A Collection of Semen-Based Recipes (on www.cookingwithcum.com)

Thank heavens for self-publishing! Back in the day when I was a publishing assistant/professional rejector, you can be sure that I would have prevented this noble volume from making it to bookshelves around the world. Thank Lulu.com for saving all of that otherwise sure-to-be-wasted spunk.

Also, cannibalism? Discuss.

"Thankfully, since white people only keep their most original and creative ideas in the Moleskine,..."

Fri, 13 Mar 2009 06:12:04 -0400

“Thankfully, since white people only keep their most original and creative ideas in the Moleskine, many of them will only be required to purchase one per lifetime.”

- Stuff White People Like #123: Moleskine Notebooks (via 2arrs2ells) (via marco) (via iainbroome) (via somethingchanged)

I hate notebooks. I mean, I think I love them, and I buy them and then as soon as I write anything in them they immediately become sullied and damaged by my scrawly writing and incoherent thoughts. So I try to limit myself to cheapy WH Smith notebook, since they are only going to antagonise me and end up crumpled at the bottom of one of my enormous handbags.

The Julie Myerson scandal is fascinating me

Wed, 11 Mar 2009 12:34:42 -0400

Much as it is fascinating the rest of reader-y Britain right now, in a car crash sort of way. But perhaps I am taking it more personally than some, for two reasons:

- as a former nightmare teenager - really nightmare, I know you don’t believe it because now I just seem to be a cute little monkey, but it is true - so much of what she write rings true to what happened in my family, and I feel a lot of sympathy for the fact that she felt the need to write about it. But I think she should have waited ten years to publish it, until her son was a bit more sorted out. I also think that they are unnecessarily scapegoating skunk rather than, perhaps, acknowledging that their son has some underlying mental health issues - depression, perhaps? - that went untreated, leading to his addiction.

- the question of where writers have to drawn the line vis a vis their use of the people close to them in their work is particularly close to my heart, because I am that kind of writer. Out of fear of hurting people, the anecdotes in my first book that have any kind of negative connotation only referred to people who I am no longer in touch with…but I wonder if this actually made the book less true than it could have been. But I am also glad that I don’t have to worry, particularly, about affecting any of my existing friendships or relationships with my family.