A funny thing: I’ve never understood how people feel about cars. I am indifferent to cars: they are nice to have to get you places if you want to spend a lot of money on petrol, and sometimes if pressed I will acknowledge that a certain car is shiny and pretty, but I genuinely am not bothered.

But bicycles! Well, ever since I have taken possession of this new-to-me Dutch bike, who I have named Sebastina, I feel more than a little bit in love. I have burdened her with £100 of locks and I check to make sure she is all right every time I leave my apartment building. Like a proud new mother, I emailed pictures of her to various bicycle-appreciating friends and turned crimson with pride when they sent back their approval: ‘She is beautiful,’ wrote one. ‘If Helen of Troy had two wheels…’ wrote another. 

I definitely need to get a puppy.